Dog Poop Superstition
Since I am the Poop Champ, I hear a lot of myths and superstitions about dog poop. It's true—people have all kinds of strange beliefs about their dog’s poop. So, I’d like to take some time to clear up some of this for you.MYTH #1 Dog Poop is a Good Fertilizer
Folks, dog poop is not a good fertilizer. In fact, your dog’s poop is actually toxic to your lawn—that’s why it causes those dead spots on your grass if you don’t properly dispose of it. Dog poop is not cow manure, it’s dog poop. That’s a big difference. In fact, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has said that dog poop is a dangerous pollutant along with other toxic chemicals. Look, I’m a right wing conservative, so I don’t trust the EPA either, but in this case it’s true. Dog poop is toxic. If you don’t believe me, try some for yourself and see if you don’t get sick. Ewwww!MYTH #2 My Dog’s Poop Will Go Away if I Leave It Long Enough
This is one of those half-truths. You see, it is true that dog poop eventually decomposes (of course, this is assuming that you don’t have adverse weather conditions which prevent this decomposition). But, the effects of your dog’s poop do not go away. For example, your dog’s poop usually contains parasites—you know, worms, and those parasite eggs can linger in your lawn for years. I’ll explain more as you continue.MYTH #3 Dog Poop is Harmless
Dog poop is not harmless—it’s extremely dangerous. It’s as dangerous as nuclear radiation or liberal democrats in Congress—okay, maybe not that dangerous, but it is dangerous.Let me share some facts with you that might shock you. Did you know that dog poop can spread parasites like hookworms, ringworms, tapeworms and Salmonella. And like I mentioned earlier, if not properly cleaned up, the parasite’s eggs can last for years in your soil. If a human then touches that by doing something simple like walking barefoot, gardening, or just playing in their yard, they could get infected from those parasites, even though the dog poop has been gone for years!
Look, I’m not trying to scare you, but these are just facts. They’re also good reasons to hire me, the Poop Champ, to take care of this for you.
But as I was saying, dog poop is also loaded with E Coli and fecal coliform bacteria which causes serious kidney disorders, intestinal illness, cramps and diarrhea in humans. Think about it, if you’ve always got the runs, it might be because you haven’t properly cleaned up your dog’s poop. I’m just saying…
Myth #4 Humans Can’t Get Parasites from their Dogs
Now this is a big misconception. Not only can you get parasites from your dogs, but some experts believe that nearly everybody who has owned a dog for any length of time has parasites. I would suggest doing a parasite cleanse if I were you. Clean yourself out, buddy! You know like it says in the Good Book, clean the inside and the outside and then you’ll be totally clean. That’s the paraphrased version.Anyhow, check this out. Dog poop contains roundworm larva, and if a human ingests this larva it can travel throughout the whole body. There have been cases of this very thing happening and causing diseases in the brain, lungs, heart, kidneys, livers, and eyes. This is serious stuff!
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Come on, I’d never eat dog poop! Of course you wouldn’t, but that’s not how it happens. What happens is people, especially little kids like me, touch the soil that has been infected and then they touch their mouths or scratch their eyes. That’s all it takes!
Well, I hope you learned a lot today and I hope you’ve further convinced yourself to hire the Poop Champ (that’s me) to take care of these issues for you. And, I hope you no longer belief in any of this dog poop superstition. Until next time, this is the Poop Champ signing off.